Men’s Mental Health Awareness and Pride Month

My relationship with Pride Month, hell the LGBT community has been a turbulent one throughout the years of my existence. I won’t lie, a lot of it has been born from my internalised homophobia, something I have been fighting against the whole of my short life. I think I have been succeeding. I wouldn’t have written this, let alone been open in the public at large if I wasn’t.

I want to go to my first Pride parade next year. I’m hoping to be there for the Cape Town one, I have reached that part of my life where I am comfortable enough to do something like that. I need to get out of hiding and be seen in the real world.

Given the turbulence of LGBT rights in the world right now, especially in the US and to varying extents across Europe. Pride Month is more important now than it has been for in recent years. Pride mustn’t and indeed, shouldn’t go away as it helps us be visible. It is a celebration of our right to exist in the limited countries where we are allowed to do so.

I do believe that we (the LGBT+ community) should work on pushing for global queer rights across the globe, but that is a dream for the foreseeable future. Rights can be given as much as they can be taken away should the majority degree their allowance.

The mental health of people, including the LGBTs, is highly important. Not just for the individual but for society at large. Indeed, the intersection between mental health and being of a non-normative sexual identity or gender expression, is often acknowledged or weaponised depending on the person invoking it.

One such complaint that people sometimes use (either through ignorance or wilful homophobia) is how Men’s Health Awareness Month is often overshadowed by Pride Month. Often with the implication that Pride Month needs to be toned down in favour of the Men’s Mental Health Awareness Month.

You see a similar framing of complaint about how June needs to refocus on the veterans. This is a typically American centric complaint, often made by political commentators that fail to educate themselves about the existence of Veterans month in November. This type of complaint is typically made by outrage merchants who would struggle in any other line of work.

I want to share some of my thoughts on the whole dilemma. I will focus on the men here today.

It is true that in comparison to Men’s Mental Health Awareness Month, Pride Month seemingly gets more fanfare. We get flags and parades and tons of merch. Corporations deem us safe enough (for now) to cater to.

You don’t really see it that much for Men’s Health Awareness Month. Which is a shame as what would be more important to the LGBT community then the inclusion of Men’s Health Awareness Month? We can help gay and bisexual men overcome the struggles of what it means to be them while also supporting trans men along their journey. All while helping them maintain happy lives within their gender/ sexuality.

The same can be said for the straight male allies we might have. What could help them become better people then have them work through any struggles they might have. Helping men with their mental help can also serve us in the long run, by negating homophobia in men. We could increase our standing within society by having less of a population that could be primed to go after us as a solution to their shame or anguish. By bringing awareness to the mental health of straight cis men, we can save ourselves from their wrath.

Both LGBT+ men and straight men can also benefit from the importance of mental health, men are at higher risk of suicide and depression compared to women, that can increase depending on one’s gender or sexuality. By working with male community members and straight allies we can not only protect ourselves, but we can also help those at risk. Potentially even gain new allies in the process.

Intersectionality as a framework for the human experience is a framework I disagree with, due to the flattening effect it creates regarding the human experience, often from an American centric worldview that falls apart once you place it outside of the American race and sexual system.

However, I do wonder if, at least in the broad strokes, we could intersect men’s mental health with Pride? Men are demanded to repress their emotions, fed a stream of lies about women and minorities. Men’s mental struggles go unexamined by a society who sees men as disposable at worst, or indifferent to their struggles at best.

This is an opportunity for us to change that, to prevent the wrathful hate against trans people, against all of us. By merging the mental health of men, we can save ourselves and each other from violence.

But there are broader societal influences involved. Homophobia on the societal level keeps men from being vulnerable because they would be considered feminine, weak, gay. It wasn’t too long ago when the word ‘gay’ was used as a pejorative for bad, especially in relation to men. Men are told to man up, to never cry, to not be weak otherwise they are considered lesser men. This is naturally detrimental to men’s health, as they lack opportunities to be vulnerable, to cry or express interest in what society deems non manly activities.

The same can be said for the threat of anything feminine, which can be anything as little as colours to even (most disgustingly) hygiene. Men are under constant pressure to be manly to be accepted in most male spaces. While this has been reduced somewhat, we still have a long way to go.

That’s to say nothing about how men are often viewed in society, from being generally disposable as fodder for war to being seen as a potential threat to women or just predators in general, especially when it comes to children or women. Similar tropes occur with gay men, who not only are viewed as hypersexual predators, but also threats to children, who are at risk of being groomed or recruited into our sinful ways or be victims of violation.

You find the exact tropes targeted at the trans community, although trans men seem to be not as affected by the strange madness thrust upon trans women. If anything, trans men appear to suffer from the struggles men tend to go through, especially if they were socialised first as women and girls before changing.

Shouldn’t we help those people within the context of Pride?

We can help those who often are ignored or marginalised inside and outside our community. We can nullify at least one of the talking points against us while improving ourselves and our allies. Maybe we can get some more on our side.

Perhaps all of this is too optimistic?

I don’t know. But I want to believe.

Thanks for reading.